Faith, Hope and Love

1 Corinthians 13:1-7 (V:The Message)
  Love never gives up.
   Love cares more for others than for self.
   Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
   Love doesn't strut,
   Doesn't have a swelled head,
   Doesn't force itself on others,
   Isn't always "me first,"
   Doesn't fly off the handle,
   Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
   Doesn't revel when others grovel,
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
   Puts up with anything,
   Trusts God always,
   Always looks for the best,
   Never looks back,
   But keeps going to the end.

Today's theme is: Awakening

Every morning, I open one bleary eye and then another to welcome (or curse) the new day.  My inner alarm clock insists at going off around 7:30.  My inner child argues that I nestle down under my blankie and go back to sleep.  My bladder, tyrant that it is, forces me to head for the bathroom, and Mr. Coffee beckons me from the kitchen.  Conspiracy I say!

But, at this time of year it would be almost sinful to waste a second of God's glorious artistry (you have to come out here!) by sleeping in, when the sun is pouring in the windows, the blue jays are swooping back and forth among the trees, and magnificent bird song fills the air. No traffic, no ugly news reports playing on the radio, and a complete and utter absence of worrying about things that just don't matter any more.  It's bliss!

Yes, awakening these days is a blessing. Awakening any day in a blessing, but only if you remember what's important and can find a way to stop sweating the small stuff.

I feel as though I am finally waking up from a long, fitful sleep fraught with dark dreams of anxiety and worry in a place where chaos rules my everything.  Nightmares become daymares, me believing it's just a hard knock life, and never even considering that there's a much better alternative.

But that's how life gets, when you forget about everything that is important and start to confuse  Faith, Hope and Love, with false idols such as pleasing your boss, beating traffic, robbing Peter to pay Paul, and scoring another worthless point in the  game of acquisition and accomplishment. At least, that is what has happened to me.

My skewed vision of love used to tell me that I come last; that I am undeserving of respect and wellness; and that the well being of the people I serve comes before anything, including God.  Smile, listen, empathise, encourage, support, report, grit my teeth, swallow my frustration, apologise for something I did or did not do, bang my head on the desk, log on, log off... Next! ...and repeat.  No time left for me. No time.

No wonder I am exhausted!  No wonder at all. There has been a complete absence of Faith, Hope and Love in my life for far too long.

I love 1 Corinthians 13:1-13.  When Eric and I remarried, my dear friend Karlene read this verse.  It is an apt descriptor of our relationship. In truth, this passage should be taped on every mirror, fridge, dashboard and pinned on everyone's bulletin board.  Life lesson #1  Love! Love God! Love yourself. Love!

I'm not nearly ready to write my own commentary on this verse, but I am ready to accept that I am worthy of love, and I am fast accepting that loving myself is not a selfish act.  Loving myself on my own terms, with tons of affection, patience, acceptance and appreciation for me.  That's a good place to start.

It's me, Jan