How to Change a Tire

First... a joke:

It has been raining for a week.  The creek is running high and is over flowing its banks. Jan, who's house is located on a flood plain in imminent danger of being swept away in a flood. An OPP officer in a Jeep knocks on her door and tells Jan to evacuate; she refuses to leave, saying "God will save me." A few hours later the water is running through Jan's first floor, and the local conservation officer pulls up to her second story window in a motor boat, but she sends him away, saying "God will save me." A little later, Jan is on her roof, with flood waters ravaging her house. A helicopter flies over and dangles a ladder, but she waves it off. Jan is swept away and drowns, and when she gets to heaven, she angrily confronts God with "why didn't you do anything to save me." God says " Are you kidding me? I didn't do anything ? I sent a Jeep, a motor boat and a helicopter!"

Old joke, but the punch line is very relevant to today's post. I learned something quite valuable on Friday evening.  I learned how to change a tire.

It all started on Friday afternoon, when I stopped by one of my favourite clothing stores for a quick browse of the end of season sales. Much to my delight, I discovered that all of the summer stock was on sale, for 50% of the lowest ticketed price. So, I delved into the racks, hoping to find some cheap deals. Nothing much for tops or bottoms, so I checked out the lingerie department, and discovered that there were bras on sale for $6.97 a piece!  (If you are male and reading this blog, you might question the need for me to even mention this, but any woman will tell you that finding a bra on sale is always news worthy.  Finding a bra for $6.97, is something that you shout out to the entire world.) Sadly, there were none in my usual size.  While lamenting this fact, the clerk came by and reminded me that the bras are also 50% off the lowest ticketed price, which means the price is actually $3.47.

Guys, just as you have the famous "Bro Code", we girls have a code too. It is a very long and complicated code, and includes hundreds (possibly thousands) of clauses on retail purchasing alone. In the section entitled "Retail Purchasing: Sales -  End of Season Sales: Lingerie Items - Brassiere's:  No brassiere that is on sale for 50% off the lowest ticketed price shall be left behind. So in obedience to this code, I must buy a bra.

I decided to go one size up (I am a realist after all) and buy a $3.47 bra. Out to the car I go, holding up my sacred (just kidding God) purchase high over my head as though it was the Holy Grail (again, just kidding God).  I swear I heard the hallelujah chorus from  a choir of angels (no doubt girl angels). I raced down the highway, screeched into my driveway, run up the stairs, stripping off my top with one hand and tearing open the new bra box with my teeth.  Off goes the old bra, on goes the new one... AND IT FITS!!!!! 

Oh the joy! The ecstasy! This is truly a once in a lifetime find. A moment to savour and record (hence this blog - except the blog is actually about how to change a tire...). Ladies, I'm not kidding when I tell you that I thanked God for this bra.  Yes, I am wonderfully made, but for some reason, He designed me with a bra size and shoe size that are always somewhere in between industry sizing standards . I am not sure exactly why; however, my guess is that He does not want me to fall prey to worshipping shoes and bras.  

I'm not ashamed to say that I did some serious voguing in front of the mirror, admiring my "maiden form" (to get that reference you have to be female and over 40). Then it occurred to me... maybe there's more $3.47 bra's in that size.  And sure enough, when I called the store,  the sales lady confirmed that there were THREE more. We strike an agreement that they will pull everything off the shelf and hold it for me, but only if I return to the store before day's end to pick them up. Very reasonable, considering the circumstances.

Now there was a dilemma.  It was about 5:00 p.m., and my tired, hungry husband was expected home any minute.  I was so excited, I couldn't concentrate on cooking dinner.  So, I paced around the kitchen until he arrived and greeted him at the door.  The poor man was barely in the house when I lifted up my shirt, exposing my bra; (this is definitely NOT standard operating procedure in our home. ) "Guess how much this bra cost?" I squeal, my face beaming with joy and delight.

Eric is no fool; he's been down this road before.  When I show him something and ask him to guess the price, he knows that he is to play along, but NOT guess the price. "10 bucks?", he guesses. "Lower!" I shout.  "Lower? Um... 5 bucks?" he suggests, anxiously knowing that he doesn't have much room to work with.  "LOWER!" I giggle, barely able to contain myself. Sweat breaks out on his forehead, as he ponders his options.  Hesitantly he suggests "Ummmmmm... $2.50?" And even though he had under cut my deal by almost a dollar, I managed a strong comeback with "No, it cost $3.47, and I can get 3 more of them if we go back to town right now. So, what do you say... dinner out, bra's and then home in time to watch Murdoch Mysteries... let's do it!"  A wise man knows better than to get in between his wife and a good sale, so off we went.

1 hour, 3 bras and a steak dinner later, we were ready to take the short drive back home.  As we were backing out of the parking spot, there was a strange sound: fumpa, fumpa, fumpa. "Darn, the tire is flat... I hate changing tires." says Eric. I'm thinking "Just my luck, I buy 4 bra's for just over 15 bucks and now we have a flat tire???  What a buzz kill!" 

Out we get; open the truck to retrieve the spare tire and jack. Of course, in order to get to that, we have to unload the entire contents of our truck which includes two 20K bags of salt, numerous items of clothing, books, winter boots, and other miscellaneous crap. Then we have to empty out the glove box in order to get to the owner's manual in order to figure out how to use the jack. Always the optimist, Eric says "This is a good opportunity for you to learn how to change a tire." (Does that sound a little passive aggressive to you? I think so too.)

I won't bore you with the ordeal, except to say, that I now know where the spare is, how the jack works, that you must not be parked on a hill when changing a tire, that you always loosen the nuts before jacking up the car, etc., etc.  But here is the point of my blog today...

As "we" were labouring over the tire, a nice couple came along and offered to help. Being the stubborn and prideful person that I am, I said "No thanks, we're good." and off they went.  20 minutes later, I'm sweating, filthy, breaking nails, dropping the wrench thingy repeatedly, and getting quite frustrated.  Another couple came by and again extend an offer of help.  This time, I accept, and a nice guy named Chris finished the job in about 5 minutes. Finally, we're back in the car, heading home and that's when we remember that we have OnStar, and a CAA membership.  All we ever had to do was reach out for help and everything would have been taken care of.

Here cometh the lesson.  Ask For Help!

The Good Lord has blessed me with many things.  A husband willing to make an emergency bra run on a Friday evening; a car that contains a spare tire, jack, owner's manual and OnStar; as well as, a mostly able body to change a tire.  Everything I own comes from our Almighty God.  He is gracious and merciful; always there with a solution to the challenges that I face.  He even blesses me with the kindness of strangers, with sincere offers of help.  So, why do I insist on trying to fix everything myself? The truth is, I am too proud to admit it when I need help.

Proverbs 16:18 says: First pride, then the crash - the bigger the ego, the harder the fall. (~ Message). I don't ask for help because of ego.  Ego is that part of me that wants me to believe that I am greater than God.  It is an acronym for Edging God Out. As challenges present themselves on a daily basis, I instinctively turn to ego for the quick fix but seldom, if ever, do I find the easy answer.  Instead, I find self recrimination, panic, worry, and blame. While I'm wallowing in that quagmire, God is patiently waiting for me to turn around and face Him with the problem. A simple admission of "God, I can't do this, please help me out!" is all He needs.  He cares that my heart is broken. He forgives when I have trespassed against others. He offers me travel mercies when I'm driving in stormy weather. He supernaturally saved Eric when the doctors could not revive him after his 3rd heart attack. He saved me form a car wreck that I’m told should have been fatal, and yes, He sends help when I have a flat tire.

How do you change a flat tire? First pray for God's help.  Then, pray for the strength to loosen the nuts on the wheel and to jack up that car.  And if He sends a stranger to help, praise Him and accept the offer.  If it is midnight out in the country on a stormy night, thank Him for OnStar (or your cell phone) and call for help.

Thank you God, for sending help to fix that tire. Thank you also,  that I now know how to change a tire, because someday that is going to come in handy. Thanks  for pouring Your love, grace and mercy into my life and giving me such great joy. Oh, and thanks for the blessing of the $3.47 bra's.

Amen

It's me, Jan

Ya know...slowly but surely, I am in the know.

The Guide

Where am I Lord? Which way now?

My head and my heart can’t seem to agree on who is in charge.

Just when I think I know, I find out that I don’t know enough to know; you know?

What’s the next step Lord? What choices should I make?

Do I run ahead, scout things out and see what I can do on my own?

Do I sit here and stew over all the possibilities, or go with my gut?

My head and my heart and my gut won’t cooperate.

If I use my head then my gut aches. 

If I go with my heart, my head goes crazy with worry.

If I go with my gut, my heart sinks and the voices in my head scream, “Stop! You are insane girl!”

This load is too heavy Lord! I can’t lift it, drag it, or carry it any further.

I can’t sweep it under the rug nor bury it in the back of my mind,

It is just too dang big.  I’m tired 

Lord. Are you there?

Child, I’m here; stronger and bigger than you can possibly imagine.

I see what you are seeing, but I can see beyond your limited vision.

I know what you know, but I know everything there is to know.

So I really do know; you know?

Let me show you, change you, and fill you with My Spirit.

Give your head, heart and gut a rest.

Open up your soul, and trust Me as I light the way ahead.

I’ll get you there, and even further;

I can do anything you know, far more than you can ever imagine,
Or request in your wildest dreams.
I do this not by pushing you around, or leading you by the nose;
but by working within you, My Spirit deeply and gently within you.

Put the load right on me, child; quit trying to carry it alone.

Take a break, lean your back my cross;

Inhale, exhale, and just be quiet for a while.

In silent contemplation you will find Me waiting;

Waiting for you to just say “Yes Lord.”

Understand that right in the middle of your grief and sorrow

Is a blessing for which you can be grateful.

Where there is pain, there is healing.

Where there is sorrow, there is joy.

Where there mourning, there is celebration.

You are my beloved daughter; with you I am well pleased.