How to Write a Book

Announcement:

I, Jan Christianson, am going to write a book.  TA DA!

There, I said it.  It's official.  Once begun, half done.  ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXZ.  hmmmmmmm......This may take a bit longer than I thought.

As you, my faithful followers, know (if you don't know, take a day off and read my blog from beginning to now - it's kind of a whole journey of discovery thing and dang funny I might add.) So I say again, as you, my faithful followers know, I have been busy figuring out what I need to figure out so I can figure out what I am going to be when I grow up.  Apparently, I am going to be a writer, motivational speaker, and on a part-time basis, a jewelry designer. That is somewhat of a change from my earliest career goals of being a doctor, a ballerina and Dianna Ross of the Supremes. 

The doctor thing didn't pan out because I am too easily nauseated by blood and stuff, and I managed to pull only a solid C- in science throughout junior and senior high school. If that was not enough, vomiting all over my lab partner and the frog we were dissecting confirmed my suspicions that Dr. Jan was never meant to be. However, I do make a damn fine hypochondriac. 

 A distinct lack of rhythm put a quick and merciful end to my dancing career.  I have two left feet, a lead bottom and get horribly dizzy after only one pirouette.  Plus, my mother put me in a tap dancing class when I was 5 years old with a scary loud dance teacher named Mrs. Block unt Tackle (or something like that). There I was, a unwieldy plump frizzy haired kid (not much has changed) cowering in the back row as she screamed "unt von, unt two, unt tree and ball, step, chain... ball, step, chain... and me desperately trying to keep up.  The lessons promptly ended when my mother was informed that although her money was welcomed, the aggravation of trying to drill one simple dance step into me head was too much of a cross to bear.  (I was consequently sent to piano lessons with much the same result.)

Now, I am glad to report that I can sing!  Well, carry a respectable tune anyway.  I've had the lead a few times in a Cabaret, with roles such as Mama Morten of Chicago fame.  Thanks to my inner drama queen, I can belt out a tune and give a convincing performance. But Diana Ross I ain't.  So, it's a writing and motivational speaking career for me. Hence, I am going to write a book.  

But where to start?  It is one thing to make the decision and entirely another to sit down and whip up something amazing. Somewhere between "I'm gonna write a book" and my eulogy where people expound on the sad loss of the 21st century's most prolific author lies my first book. Better get to work.

If you haven't already figured it out, today's blog is strictly meant  to be a procrastination tactic. But I'm going to write that book!  Seriously! Just as soon as I clean the house, do the laundry, walk the neighbour's dogs, mow the lawn, weed the garden...

It's me, Jan