Cleansing of the Soul

This blog may come under the heading of "too much information", but I'm in a mood to share.

Spoiler Alert!!!!  Today, I am going to talk about diarrhea.

At 2:00 p.m. this afternoon, I will be under general anaesthetic while I undergo a colonoscopy. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this procedure, I suggest that you read up on it through Google. But I warn you, it is not for the faint of heart.

The preparation process is awful.  Yesterday, I purchased $60.00 worth of a power laxative, and have taken 3 doses which are meant to "cleanse" my bowels in preparation for the procedure.  I am italicizing this word, to point out the irony of what I am putting myself through, in the name of preventative maintenance.

Procedure.  What a nice word:  A manner of proceeding; a way of performing or effecting something. It certainly sounds better than acknowledging that I am willingly agreeing to have something put where the sun doesn't shine (and have picture taken!) But I digress.

Immersed as I am in my discovery of faith in Jesus Christ and understanding God's purpose for my life, I tend to draw metaphors from all of life's experiences. (See yesterdays blog about IKEA). So, as I purge my body in preparation for this unspeakable procedure, I can't help but think how much easier it would be if we could only find such a quick fix to cleanse our souls and purge ourselves of our sins. An instant cure-all that cleans like a white tornado.  Unholy one day, and all cleaned up and holy the next. No more work to do.

Purging. Another nice word: (a) To remove (impurities and other elements) by or as if by cleansing. (b) to rid of sin, guilt or defilement. (c) law to clear (a person) of a charge or imputation. In order to make this procedure go smoothly, (more so, I am certain, for the surgeon than for myself,) I need to rid myself of all residual "matter".  Ewwwwwwww.  Sorry, back to the metaphor.


16 years ago, I found salvation by accepting Jesus Christ into my life.  I was baptized at the ripe old age of 40, because I wanted to undergo a spiritual cleansing and receive the Holy Spirit. And although God is faithful, and welcomed me with open arms, I did not receive Him with all my heart and soul.  I just kind of "friended" Him and went on my merry way.  We have had an on again - off again kind of relationship since that time.  More to the point, I was the one who was on and off, not Him.  I accepted His friendship, but did nothing much to deepen the relationship.  Pity too, because I experienced a lot of unnecessary pain along the way in my stubborn desire to take care of my own problems and try to medicate the pain through the acquisition of stuff.

But, Jesus never gave up on me.  He has patiently travelled by by my side, ready to take up the conversation where we left off, whenever I came to my senses and admitted that I was in need of Good Orderly Direction. Finally, through a lot of trial and tribulation, I have found my way back to the foot of the cross, humbly admitting that I am a sinner and incapable of living a life filled with peace and joy without a deep and personal relationship with Him.

This is where purging comes in.  When I first knelt down and admitted that my life was unmanageable and committed my life and will to the care of God, I laid out all my sins.  Well, most of them anyway.  I was hoping we wouldn't have to have a conversation about the really bad stuff.  I wallowed in guilt, shame and anger - thinking that this was the way one gets right with God.  Self-inflicted punishment to ensure that I learned my lesson.  But get this:  He knew everything and He forgave me for everything. Done! Finished! Purged! Clean as a whistle.

But, with purging comes responsibility.  I know better now.  I can't just say "sorry, sorry, sorry" and then go back to my old life.  I have to step up, live right, immerse myself in His word, admit that I am a sinner ('cause I am, and continue to pull a lot of boners), and ask Jesus to help me do better. I am in recovery from my addiction to negative emotions such as guilt, fear, worry shame, and anger. I mean, once it is out, flushed away, do I really want to fill myself up with all that nasty stuff again?
No more gossipping and back stabbing.  No more indulging in resentments. Retail therapy? Nope, doesn't work. Lying my way out of an uncomfortable situations?  No longer an option.  Abusing my body in the name of pleasure? Doesn't feel good at all.

So, what's left?  Peace, contentment, joy, being loved unconditionally, loving myself, better relationships, comfortable in my own skin, full of confidence, discovering talent in myself that I had no idea even existed.  I could go on and on. My point is this:  in order to make room for all these wonderful things, I had to purge myself of the miserable beliefs and attitudes that have been my travelling companions for most of my life. Jesus Christ's forgiveness was instantaneous... My willingness to experience the cleansing of my soul took a bit of time due to a lack of cooperation on my part.  But in the last 8 weeks, my soul had opened up and life could not be more beautiful.

As I prepare for today's procedure, I am confident that things will turn out just fine.  No matter the result, I am in God's hands.  Can't think of a better place to be than right there.

Well, off I go, Purged and purged (seriously, I feel as though I am completely hollow). Thanks for listening. Other than letting you all know how it all comes out in the end (pun intended), I promise never to bring up diarrhea ever again.

Opps!  Gotta go!

It's me, Jan

Later today...

4:15 p.m. and I'm back home.

It's all done and dusted, and I am happy to report that I am the proud owner of a pink and healthy colon.  It wasn't bad at all.  I got to have a nice nap, they gave me juice and cookies after, and I even got a report card congratulating me on my healthy colon.  No need to return for another 10 years.  

But now, friends, I think that it's time to bid you adieu, before I think of any more metaphors which rhyme with poo....